meditation itself is medicine, more meditation is drugs no medicine is madness.if you are not in meditative state you are in madness but mad one doesn't know it.one in more meditation is addict he has forget that ther are many color of life to celebrate,the one in middle is lucky he can celebrate everything.
at this time when i am writing this i am more towards direction of madeness,in fact i feel to write whenever i am mad.it's been 10 days since i haven't got chance to meditate properly and i can feel the tremendous madness hovering around. i can feel it's grip a thought after thought like a pile of arrow thrown at once.I can't bear it i want peace,a silence,a no thought, a no mind state.
I can see a gradual change. my mind effort to be in thoughtless. I know the very effort is hindrance....but this knowing doesn't help me.I chose effortless effort and again i am deceive, how can i chose and what to chose ...chosing happen in duality and duality is a conflict.if i deny it is a conflict...and if i accept it's also a subtle denyto the deny.now i am deceiving myself.Before any effort used to be in silence and used to come from silence now i want silence through this effort.silence is disappearing only effort remains which very want is to regain that silence.
sex appeal has increased,why not ....love lives in peace of mind,feeling of heart.Now there is no peace , no feeling only thought after thought and may be that's why energy has started to move downward. and i have to erupt it in 3 or 4 days.It's absurd that the love which was my mere state of being has now slowly started to change into emotion.when you can't be in present and in other words i like to say -when you can't love this whole existence and yourself then you would like to love one person just for a moment.this moment is called sex.And you want to disappear in timeless in that moment which of course doesn't last more than a mere second.when you fell moving to height you suddenly realize you have fallen to the pit.
life is drama.You move,eat,play ...in this drama or may be dream.And i want to wake up.some time i dream that i am wake up.I don't know what this wake up means How many times i feel i am waking and how many time i feel again in sleep.anyway we all are in drama some one chose their character in drama while someone doesn't but still drama is drama.My drama is worth laughing -wake up every morning(don't know where i had been all this 8 hour) ,go to college,sit among those intelligent head.A teacher taming all these head.which i called a superior head.It seem that some teacher are worth to be called intelligent but some are crying loud it seem they are not teaching us but rather in those loud voice taming themselves Some time a cadre enter and say something and all those intelligent heads understand him so quickly and claps and i can see change of line in cadre face and a little grin.Oh! now they are confident that whatever they are saying is right.
I have to meditate.I know if i meditate i become in no thought state and i can continue my carrier knowing that it is a chosen drama for me.And if i don't meditate thought will arise and i can't continue this chosen drama.......i have to chose my own.In both case it is drama but that doesn't change my way.
at this time when i am writing this i am more towards direction of madeness,in fact i feel to write whenever i am mad.it's been 10 days since i haven't got chance to meditate properly and i can feel the tremendous madness hovering around. i can feel it's grip a thought after thought like a pile of arrow thrown at once.I can't bear it i want peace,a silence,a no thought, a no mind state.
I can see a gradual change. my mind effort to be in thoughtless. I know the very effort is hindrance....but this knowing doesn't help me.I chose effortless effort and again i am deceive, how can i chose and what to chose ...chosing happen in duality and duality is a conflict.if i deny it is a conflict...and if i accept it's also a subtle denyto the deny.now i am deceiving myself.Before any effort used to be in silence and used to come from silence now i want silence through this effort.silence is disappearing only effort remains which very want is to regain that silence.
sex appeal has increased,why not ....love lives in peace of mind,feeling of heart.Now there is no peace , no feeling only thought after thought and may be that's why energy has started to move downward. and i have to erupt it in 3 or 4 days.It's absurd that the love which was my mere state of being has now slowly started to change into emotion.when you can't be in present and in other words i like to say -when you can't love this whole existence and yourself then you would like to love one person just for a moment.this moment is called sex.And you want to disappear in timeless in that moment which of course doesn't last more than a mere second.when you fell moving to height you suddenly realize you have fallen to the pit.
life is drama.You move,eat,play ...in this drama or may be dream.And i want to wake up.some time i dream that i am wake up.I don't know what this wake up means How many times i feel i am waking and how many time i feel again in sleep.anyway we all are in drama some one chose their character in drama while someone doesn't but still drama is drama.My drama is worth laughing -wake up every morning(don't know where i had been all this 8 hour) ,go to college,sit among those intelligent head.A teacher taming all these head.which i called a superior head.It seem that some teacher are worth to be called intelligent but some are crying loud it seem they are not teaching us but rather in those loud voice taming themselves Some time a cadre enter and say something and all those intelligent heads understand him so quickly and claps and i can see change of line in cadre face and a little grin.Oh! now they are confident that whatever they are saying is right.
I have to meditate.I know if i meditate i become in no thought state and i can continue my carrier knowing that it is a chosen drama for me.And if i don't meditate thought will arise and i can't continue this chosen drama.......i have to chose my own.In both case it is drama but that doesn't change my way.
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